You Bought What?
by A Shade of Grey
Summary: Lily is less than pleased when James buys Harry a gift.


_**Disclaimer:** I don't own it, nor will I ever own it._

_**Summary:** Lily is less than pleased when James buys Harry a gift._

**You Bought What?**

"I love you."

There was nothing out of the ordinary about James Potter telling his wife that he loved her—he did so at least a dozen times every day—but the way he had just said it caused Lily to narrow her eyes. This was not James reassuring her of his affection, but James using his favorite way of introducing a delicate topic. For some reason, he assumed Lily couldn't be mad at him when he had just said he loved her.

Needless to say, it never pacifed Lily. Never. "What did you do, James?" she asked warily.

"What makes you think I did anything?" Wide-eyed innocence never looked right on James, in Lily's opinion. He was born to be mischievous, making it an obvious giveaway whenever he attempted to act innocent.

"James," warned Lily. "What did you do?" Silence. "_James_…James!"

"Fine!" James yielded, biting his lip nervously. "Er… Well, I was in Diagon Alley today…"

"And…?" prompted Lily.

"And, er, I passed Quality Quidditch Supplies, so I went inside." Lily's eyebrow rose. James _always_ stopped at Quality Quidditch Supplies; what was out of the ordinary about that? "They had this amazing new broom inside!" James' voice became very excited. "The Nimbus 1500! It accelerates about fifty times faster than the last—"

"James…"

"model, the Nimbus 1001, and it's—"

"James…"

"got amazing accuracy and precis—"

"_James_!"

"What? Oh, sorry, Lils," said James with a sheepish grin.

"As… _exhilarating_ as all that sounds, maybe you should move on and finish what you were about to say," Lily suggested, rolling her eyes.

"Oh, er… That was all I was going to say." Lily looked very unconvinced. "How about we eat? I'm starving."

"It's four-o'clock," Lily said, frowning.

James shrugged uncomfortably. "Er, but I'm so hungry… I feel like I could eat a hippogriff."

"You went to Diagon Alley with Sirius, right?" asked Lily, and James nodded. "Then you must've had ice cream less than an hour ago; Sirius can't resist it, and I know you got it with him. So, tell me, James, what you did."

It wasn't a question, James knew, meaning that, if he ignored it, he would sleep on the couch for at least a week. He cursed under his breath softly, knowing he was trapped. "I really don't think you'll want to hear, Lily. It's about broomsticks."

"I don't think I want to hear, either, but you have to tell me, anyway."

"Er, okay, so I was at Quality Quidditch Supplies, like I said, and I saw that fantastic new broom model. I already have a good broom, so I knew I couldn't get it for me, but then it hit me…" James trailed off, grinning widely now.

"What hit you?" asked Lily suspiciously.

"That Harry needs a broom. So, naturally, I bought him the broom."

"You bought what?"

"The Nimbus 1500," James said proudly.

"You bought what?" repeated Lily. For a few moments, she stared blankly at James, then suddenly burst out laughing. "Oh, you're joking! Ha ha, very funny. Merlin, you got me; I really thought you had bought one, for a minute." James shrugged uncomfortably. "It was a joke, right?" He stared pointedly at the floor, not saying anything. "_Right?_ Even you couldn't be _that_ stupid!"

"Hey!" James said indignantly. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Ignoring him, she muttered, "Please tell me you didn't. Harry is only ten weeks old."

"What's so bad about buying a broom?" asked James.

"What's so… What's so _bad_ about it? Are you serious, James? _Don't start!_" Lily hissed when he opened his mouth, about to make a joke about not, in fact, being Sirius.

"You're overreacting," James said slowly, eyeing Lily nervously.

"_Overreacting?_" screeched Lily.

"You just need to calm down."

"_WHAT?_ I need to calm down, James? How can you expect me to calm down when you bought our son a broomstick? He can't even walk yet!"

"Just wait until you see it, then you'll understand," pleaded James.

Lily opened her mouth, but in her anger, she seemed unable to form words any longer. At last, after taking a few deep breaths, Lily spoke in a voice of completely forced calm. "You can't make decisions like this without my consent, James. Harry is far too young to ride a broom, and will remain too young for quite a few years—"

"But, Lily!"

Lily continued as though he hadn't interrupted, though her voice shook with suppressed fury. "You will return the broom."

"But… but… you can't—" James pouted, which usually made Lily go weak in the knees, but now only made her resolve strengthen.

"_Now_." No further arguments would change her position; Lily was incredibly stubborn once she decided something, and the more James would try to change her mind, the more set in her position she would become.

"Fine," sighed James. "Can I at least—"

"No, James, you can't."

"But you don't know what I was going to—" James started, but Lily interrupted again.

"I don't care, the answer is still no."

The vicious glare Lily gave James made him wince as though physically struck, and he retrieved the broom from the closet he had hidden it in. "What should I do with it?"

"Return it, like I told you to."

"It's, er… nonrefundable," he explained guiltily.

"James…" Lily trailed off, closing her eyes and shaking her head. "Sometimes you drive me crazy…" Surprisingly, Lily let out a small laugh. "I can't believe you… Well, no use crying over spilt potion, I suppose… Where's your old broom, James? You'll have to use the new one."

"Seriously?" asked James hopefully.

"There's no use wasting it, now is there?" snapped Lily. "Oh, and now that you've reminded me about Sirius, could you tell him I'm mad at him, as well? I doubt he did anything to stop you from buying that broom, did he?"

"Er…"

"I thought not. Well, now that that's settled, I'll just take your old broom—that way you can't give it to Harry—and then I'll start dinner." James nearly sighed in relief; he _wasn't_ in trouble. Hard to believe, really, but he wasn't about to complain. "Oh, and James…" Lily's voice sounded from their bedroom, and she came out holding his Cleansweep 5.

"Yeah?"

"You'll be sleeping on the couch tonight."


End file.
